Facilitation @ Comini: Our Evolving Guide

Introduction

In the previous chapter, we explored the art of facilitation and how it transforms the relationship between adults and children. Now we want to share what these principles look like in our daily practice at Comini. How do we bring these ideas to life in our actual interactions with children?
We've created these guidelines together, through countless observations, reflections, and sometimes through learning the hard way. They aren't perfect or final, they grow and change as we do. Think of them as a snapshot of our collective wisdom right now, capturing what we've found helps create an environment where children can flourish.
We've designed this chapter to serve as both a practical map for daily facilitation and a bridge to other parts of the playbook. You'll notice references to chapters that appear later, which might seem a bit out of sequence. This is intentional. We wanted this guide to stand on its own for those who might need these practical guidelines right away, while also connecting to the deeper explorations that follow. Feel free to read straight through or follow these threads to dive deeper into specific aspects that interest you.
We hope these practical approaches will feel like a natural extension of the philosophy we've been exploring together. They connect our deepest beliefs about how children learn with the everyday moments that make up our time with them.

Why We're Here

At Comini, we center everything around three core principles: learning that is playful, purposeful, and personalized. We strive to ensure that every conversation, project, and observation flows from this commitment.

Our Shared Beliefs

How we facilitate stems directly from our understanding of children and learning. Our actions, including what we consciously choose not to do, emerge from these core beliefs. As we observe children and truly see them, these beliefs continue to grow and evolve.
While we each bring unique perspectives and experiences, our shared understanding creates a foundation that resonates throughout our community. This common vision enables us to build systems that support everyone's wellbeing—prioritizing the children while nurturing the adults who guide them.
This is why clarity about Comini's philosophy matters so deeply. It directly shapes our daily practices and thoughtful interactions with children and each other.

Our Bedrock Beliefs

These are the foundations that everything else builds upon:
  • We are wired to explore and learn. This is our natural state as humans, not something we need to manufacture or impose.
  • Learning is meaningful and effective when we understand it matters. Purpose creates the pathway for everything else.
  • We are learning all the time, even if an outcome isn't immediately visible. Learning often happens beneath the surface, with progress unfolding in its own time rather than following predictable schedules or visible milestones.
  • Learning occurs best when the mind, body, and heart are all at play, together. Whole humans learn with their whole being.
  • We learn at our own pace and have our own path. Development isn't linear, and timelines aren't universal.
  • We can have desirable difficulties to challenge ourselves, but these are different for everyone. The right level of challenge creates growth without overwhelming.
  • We do not need a curriculum to learn, but a map helps. We want children to discover what the world has to offer, even as they chart their own course.
  • Personalizing learning doesn't mean pandering. We honor each child's interests while thoughtfully expanding their horizons. We inspire exploration rather than forcing compliance.
  • The best way to teach is to show what excellence and passion can be. We live it, not merely talk about it.
  • We learn to do, to be, and to become. Learning shapes our Self—our identity, purpose, and sense of possibility. Through meaningful experiences, we discover not just what we know, but who we are and who we might become.
We call these "bedrock beliefs" because even as we continue learning about how to support children on their unique journeys, these fundamentals remain solid beneath everything else. And importantly, these aren't just our personal hunches—they're supported by a wealth of research in developmental psychology, neuroscience, and education.
When we're considering trying something new at Comini, we always check: Does this align with our bedrock beliefs? If not, is there compelling evidence beyond our own intuition that suggests we should reconsider?

A Guide on the Journey

We've found that the metaphor of facilitation as a journey with the facilitator as a knowledgeable guide captures something essential about our approach.
We're there when needed, with knowledge, support, and occasional nudges, but we understand that the journey belongs to the children. We trust their capacity to navigate with increasing independence. We see the journey itself as valuable as any destination.
We recognize that exploration doesn't mean chaos. There are natural rhythms to each day, but these emerge through mutual understanding rather than rigid impositions.
Ultimately, we aim to be the kind of guides who teach children to fish rather than simply handing them fish and chips. We want them to learn how to figure things out independently, to discover what brings them joy, and to develop the motivation to pursue mastery in areas that genuinely matter to them.
All this unfolds within a constantly changing reality. Children evolve, the world transforms, and our understanding grows. That's why we see this document as living and breathing, something that will grow alongside our community rather than remaining static.

Walking the Path: Our Principles in Practice

As you engage with these guidelines, you'll notice a theme emerging: balance. We're always finding the sweet spot between too much and too little. Between freedom and structure. Between stepping in and stepping back.
This balance point shifts with each child, each situation, each moment. There's never a rigid formula we can apply dogmatically or unthinkingly. Rather, there's a thoughtful conversation that responds to what's actually happening right now, with this particular child, in this specific context.
Finding this balance becomes especially important when facing the daily challenges of facilitating learning, where the beautiful theories about how children learn meet the messy reality of practice. A reality parents to siblings may understand all too well! How do you honor agency when one child refuses to share, leaving another in tears? How do you encourage balanced nutrition when a child "doesn't feel like it"? How do you nurture interest in math or writing when a child has decided they're "not interested"?
We've developed an evolving set of principles to help navigate these real-world situations. These principles serve the specific needs, values, and beliefs of the current children, facilitators, and families in our community. There's no one-size-fits-all approach here.
These guidelines help us navigate challenging moments and provide a framework we share with the children to help them resolve their own conflicts.

Core Facilitation Practices

Show, don't tell. If you find yourself talking for more than five minutes to explain something to a seven-year-old, you've likely already lost their interest. Balance storytelling with demonstration, allowing children to see learning in action.
For example: When introducing a new art technique, demonstrate the process silently first, allowing children to observe before adding words. During a science experiment, set up materials and begin without lengthy explanations, inviting children to notice and question as the process unfolds.
Also see Chapter 4: How Children Actually Learn in The Comini Way playbook, which explores how children learn through observation and direct experience.
Always share context. Prepare children for any activity by giving them just enough information to be ready without spoiling the discovery. Like a good trail guide who helps you pack appropriately without describing every vista you'll discover yourself.
For example: When heading out for a field trip, share a bit about where we're going and what they might experience. Just enough to create anticipation while preserving the joy of discovery.
Also see Chapter 5: Five Questions That Guide Everything We Do in The Comini Way playbook, which explores the "why" behind learning.
Model your own learning. Be a fellow explorer who's a few steps ahead on certain paths. Let children see you learning, struggling, figuring things out.
For example: If you don't know how to make a paper airplane, learn alongside the children. If you've been learning something new in your own life, share that journey with them.
Also see Chapter 8: The Art of Facilitation in The Comini Way playbook, which discusses being a guide rather than a director.
Offer real choices, not coerced ones. Never say "You have to do this because it's fun!" Instead, provide options that genuinely empower children: "Would you prefer to work on this alone or with a partner?"
We often find ourselves wanting to expand children's horizons—"If you never try, you'll never know" is a phrase we hear ourselves saying. We're mindful of the difference between gently encouraging new experiences versus overriding a child's choice after they've understood the possibilities.
Also see Chapter 9: Developing the Whole Child in The Comini Way playbook, which discusses nurturing autonomy and agency.
See learning in everything. We don't limit learning to predetermined topics or rigid schedules. Instead, we remain alert to the "teachable moments" that arise naturally throughout each day.
Also see Chapter 10: Learning in Themes, Not Subjects in The Comini Way playbook, which explains how learning crosses traditional boundaries.
Balance conceptual understanding with practical skill. Really understanding something requires both insight into the concept and fluency with the procedures. Both matter! We don't force practice, but we do provide plenty of opportunities, time, space, and resources for children to develop fluency at their own pace.
Also see Chapter 12: How We Learn Math in The Comini Way playbook, which demonstrates how conceptual understanding and procedural fluency work together.
Reserve "you have to" for only two situations:
  1. Matters of safety or health – "You have to be careful when crossing the road" or "You have to drink water after playing in the sun"
  1. Respecting oneself and others – "You have to ask before taking someone's snack" or "You have to let them know you don't want to be hugged"
Also see Chapter 16: Self, Purpose, Belonging in The Comini Way playbook, which explores the balance between freedom and guidance.

Honoring Each Person

Treat everyone as competent. Never embarrass children or put them on the spot. Use a mindful, respectful tone at ALL times.
Do: Provide constructive feedback privately. Discuss a child's challenge or area for growth one-on-one, not in front of the group.
Don't: Call out children in ways that could embarrass them. Never say things like, "Why don't you understand this? It's so easy!" in front of peers.
Respect people's choices. Especially after providing context and ensuring the choice doesn't violate our safety or respect principles. "No means no" is a Comini mantra we live by.
Remember that play creates responsibility. Playful exploration includes caring for our community and environment. We each have roles in maintaining our shared spaces. Individual actions ripple outward, affecting others and even those who come after us. When these effects are negative (like not cleaning up your mess, leaving it for someone else), we're respectfully firm that individual choices cannot impinge on others' well-being or choices.
Also see Chapter 3: Finding Our Community and the Power of Play in The Comini Way playbook, which discusses how play and social responsibility coexist.
Respect personal boundaries. Every person's physical boundaries deserve complete respect.
Do: Ask for consent before initiating physical contact. "Would it be okay if I give you a high-five?"
Don't: Force physical interaction or invade personal space. Never hug or touch a child without their clear consent.
Also see Chapter 9: Developing the Whole Child in The Comini Way playbook, which explores how safety is foundational to learning.

Embracing Diversity

Honor family diversity. Be sensitive and inclusive of all family structures.
Do: Use terms like "your grown-ups" instead of assuming "mom and dad."
Don't: Make assumptions about a child's family situation. Avoid questions like, "Does your mom cook dinner for you?"
Honor religious and cultural practices. Respect and accommodate the diverse traditions our families bring.
Do: Be aware of and make space for dietary restrictions, observances, or practices that matter to our families.
Don't: Dismiss or make light of any family's practices. Never say things like, "It's just a little meat, it won't hurt you."
Remain neutral in political discussions. Support critical thinking without imposing personal views.
Do: Facilitate balanced conversations about current events, ensuring multiple perspectives are fairly represented.
Don't: Promote your own political views or allow discussions to become partisan. Never say, "This political party is the best."
Use inclusive language. Choose words that welcome everyone.
Do: Say "Everyone, please listen up" instead of "Guys, listen up."
Don't: Use unnecessarily gendered or exclusive language. Avoid phrases like "Boys will be boys" or "Ladies first."
Honor matters of the home. At Comini, we deeply respect diversity in living, loving, worship, political affiliations, and more. We create an environment where everyone can maintain their beliefs without imposing them on others. We appreciate each other for who we truly are.
These "matters of the home" include:
  • Religious and spiritual beliefs (organized or personal)
  • Food choices (Comini serves vegetarian food at communal gatherings as the common denominator, but children can bring non-vegetarian food from home as long as they inform those sharing)
  • Family structures (including adoptive families, single-parent homes, multiple-parent families, same-sex parents, etc.)
  • Political affiliations (support whom you choose, while we ensure factual information remains unbiased)

Using Technology Mindfully

Use technology thoughtfully.  Ensure that technology serves learning rather than replacing it.
Do: Limit screen time to interactive, educational experiences that serve a clear purpose.
Don't: Use technology as a babysitter or default activity when you're not sure what else to do.
Also see Chapter 13: Technology as Learning Partner in The Comini Way playbook, which explores how screens are both tools and worlds, and how technology can amplify rather than replace human connection.
Our guiding principle is that we respect these personal choices and use them to expand our worldviews without condemning, belittling, or judging those who choose differently.
This document, like everything at Comini, continues to evolve. As we grow together, as we learn from the children and from each other, these guidelines will develop further.